1. Bromeo Must Die

[decryptic]

Characters: 9S | The Scholar, Alfyn | Johnny Appleseed, and you!
Campaign: Hollow Christmas Carol, Act II, Scene 5
Format: [ brackets ]
Open!
Summary: Ebegeeser and the Horseman of Christmas Present debate the life and death of Bromfred. Also, 9S kills time around the manor.



[ A: Scene 5 (closed to Alfyn)

9S's journal lights up red, which means it's time to play the part. He straightens from where he's been leaning on the second story banister, watching the couples dance below. He straightens out the coat of his modified outfit before scribbling out a message to Alfyn. His handwriting is uniform, almost text-like. ]

Hey, Alfyn. It looks like you're my Horseman. Can you meet me upstairs or is your horse going to be a problem?

[ Because 9S hated his own pony enough to start feeling prejudiced about all ponies, apparently. ]


[ B: Warming up (open)

Lacking a sword, 9S equips himself with a floor candelabra almost as tall as he is. It hovers a foot off his back, because magnets. Inside the manor, he finds an empty-enough space and practices with his new weapon.

He doesn't swing the candelabra as much as let it flow from him. He moves in staccato bursts, his form a study of some ancient martial art. With his every punch and twist, the candelabra swings out untouched -- a trick of magnetic levitation he adapted to this unintended use. Though his limbs are shorter and weaker than a combat model's, his entire body's momentum goes into the freewheeling spin of the candelabra as it whirls before him, around him, and stabs at imaginary opponents.

He grunts with exertion, making his presence obvious to anyone passing nearby. ]


[ C: Manor defense (open)

9S's interest in song and dance is purely observational, so there's that much less for him to do around the manor. He defaults to standing outside with his not-very-menacing floor candelabra, extremely prepared to clobber any blots who seem a little too rowdy.

If anyone steps out to join him, he'll mutter: ]

Have you seen that old bearded creep wandering around? I just know he's plotting something.


[ D: Cabin fever (open)

Time is doing something strange and messing with his internal clock. It feels like they've been in this manor forever, and 9S can only fiddle with code and practice his candelabra skills for so long before restlessness catches up with him. Desperate, he picks up his medallion and complains at it. ]

I'm starting to go nuts in here! What do you guys do for fun? I'm willing to try anything to beat this boredom.

Comments

[decryptic]

I don't think that means what -- oh, thanks.

[ 9S is successfully distracted by the apple! He takes it and... holds it. What else is he supposed to do with it. ]

Anyway, listen, Alfyn. I've been thinking about the scene we're in, and I think I -- that is, Ebegeeser -- should go ahead with killing Bromfred.

[apothecarry]

What?

[If he had something in his hand to drop he would have dropped it. As it is, his jaw drops instead, and he shakes his head fast and looks around to make sure no one's overhearing.]

You can't just...do that!

[decryptic]

Well... why not? It's just a story, right? I'm not really killing anyone.

[ He tucks his journal away and sets the apple on the banister. ]

Every story gets a little juicier when murder's involved. And the contrast between Ebegeeser when he was a schoolteacher and Ebegeeser when he's willing to stick a fork in someone would be a lot more thought-provoking, if you ask me. Who likes safe stories, anyway?

[apothecarry]

[Alfyn likes safe stories!]

First of all, what if that means you really do have to...to attack and hurt the person who's Bromfred right then?

[He looks down at the whirl of festive blots and how easy it is to pick out others like him among them. The plea for mercy is plain on his face when he turns back to 9S again.]

What if he still has a chance to do some good in this world? He just doesn't know it yet. What if both of them do?

[decryptic]

If that's the case, then I obviously won't kill him. I'll... tie him up and stuff him in a closet, maybe?

[ Oh--!! ]

Do you have any of your apothecary-type concoctions on you? Like something to make someone go to sleep?

[ Not even addressing the last part because.................... frankly 9S doesn't care sorry ]

[apothecarry]

[Good thing Alfyn's whole point here is to make him care.]

I would if I had my bag with me. I've been studyin' what's available in town, and-

[He's getting distant from the thing he came to do.]

Listen, if you agree to just put him in a closet somewhere, that'd be really great.

[decryptic]

Only if going through with the kill would actually hurt someone.

[ He lifts a hand to punctuate his points, getting more animated now. ]

Because think about what leaving him alive would mean for the story: Bromfred eventually escapes, then snitches on Ebegeeser. Even if Bromfred didn't actually have visual confirmation that it was Ebegeeser, he'd probably raise a stink and make Ebegeeser suspect number one. Killing Bromfred is way tidier if you think in the long-term.

[apothecarry]

I am thinkin' long-term.

[Alfyn doesn't believe killing is ever the right answer; he was confronted with it once and struggled for weeks afterward over what he really believed, and what was best for people. Some of that same cutting desperation edges back into his heart.]

All you'll do is make the worst come true; Beltrina'll have no one and she'll hate the guy who really loves her. What good would that do? At least if it's a prank or something the misunderstanding can get explained.

[Giving 9S a still-negative out wasn't in the plan. Alfyn shifts uncomfortably inside the wrapped box.]

You'd be taking the futures from more people than Bromfred.

[decryptic]

[ Alfyn's way of thinking is... very foreign to him. Puzzling, actually. To 9S, Ebegeeser and Bromfred and Beltrina are all just hypothetical people. Furthermore, no android he ever spoke to seemed so genuinely distressed over the fate of a complete (hypothetical) stranger. Is Beltrina's happiness really that important?

9S is still certain that his argument is sound, but he isn't callous enough to think he should get his way for the sake of it. He prefers to support, not lead, after all, and a small part of him doesn't want to upset his first human. He continues more slowy, relenting. ]

Of course, the key would be making the death seem like an accident. But... if you feel that strongly about it, I'll just ditch the plan. Anything short of killing him wouldn't make much sense.

[apothecarry]

[He...thought he'd have to argue harder. The relief washing over him is as evident as all his usual delight, and he holds onto the balcony rail a bit, just in case. Alfyn is overcome. It's not that unusual.]

Really? Shucks, that's great to hear, Nines. Er, uh, Ebegeezer?

[He looks down at the party again and rubs his chin.]

If you wanted, for the sake of the story, I'd help you out with a different kind of prank, though. Nothin' too serious! But something the likes of what you were looking for during the school scene. [He shrugs, open-armed.] Can't take away all the fun, or I wouldn't be a great Christmas Spirit.

[decryptic]

[ 9S isn't a pointlessly defiant human teen... just a little murderous sometimes, is all. Small blessings. He shakes his head. ]

That's okay. If we're going the good guy route, then pranks will just make him... er, me look immature. I assume Beltrina won't be attracted to that kind of thing.

... Then again, it's not like I know much about what human women are attracted to. What do you think, Alfyn?

[apothecarry]

[Human women are attracted to Cyrus Albright.

That's not the first thought Alfyn has, but it's the first fully formed one, and he looks kind of shocked by it even though he's holding in a laugh, too. Then he shuffles his feet a bit.]

Well, I think generally, ladies like somebody who they know'll be good to them. You know, considerate of their feelings and not too harsh, and who pay attention to 'em. I guess some women want a protector? But others just want somebody who likes them and likes to do things together.

[He's thinking about Tressa's parents, too. They're great together and very sweet; his memories of Zeph's family are similar.]

But I don't know what Beltrina'd like. Heck, maybe she would like to see a little harmless fun?

[decryptic]

[ 9S thinks about all the grief he's received in life over little bits of harmless fun and has Doubts about whether Beltrina wants any of that business. ]

I wish we knew more about her. Then I could try to woo her with... a considerate gift?

[ He crosses his arms and drums his fingers on his bicep in thought. ]

You guys all like food, don't you? Eating is all you ever do.

[ That's how it feels to him, anyway... ]

[apothecarry]

It's not all we do, but I guess it must look like that compared to what you're used to, huh? But we've gotta eat in order to survive. Helps to do it a lot.

[Alfyn was Beltrina for a bit, earlier; he leans against the nearest wall and makes thoughtful faces.]

Ebegeezer's supposed to be learnin' about the importance of...uh, being...a better person, right? Somethin' like that? Instead of a gift, maybe ask her for another dance. Paying attention to her would probably go farther than some stuff, anyway.

[Plus the only gift he has on hand is another apple. Which is food. But. Details.]

[decryptic]

[ Meeting humans always seems to mean having tea or drinking beer or ordering food or running across them with their freshly bought vegetables. 9S is fairly sure humans are more obsessed with food consumption than they realize.

He forges on, brightening as he remembers something he never thought would become relevant. ]

Hey, once I came across something called an "extreme weight-loss superfood". Do you think that would be a good gift? If she reduced her fat storage, she could eat more of her favorite food and not have to worry about it impeding her physically.

[apothecarry]

[Zounds this boy knows nothing useful about human females at all does he? Alfyn himself turns a bit pale, then flushes, waving his hands and shaking his head.]

No no! It's- I mean the thought behind it's good, I guess, real practical and all, but, listen, Nines. Ebegeezer. It's a really bad idea to suggest to a lady that she's gotta lose some weight.

[It's just not done. Not if you want to keep your ears attached.]

But her favorite food itself would be a great gift!

[decryptic]

Oh...

[ The disappointment in his voice is palpable. He really thought he was on to something... ]

I don't see why it has to be so complicated. But I guess I can't go wrong with food and a dance... assuming I'm not the one actually doing the dancing. We androids aren't really the dancing type. I only knew what it was in theory until we came here.

[apothecarry]

[Human women are complicated, 9S. Maybe more complicated than android women. Alfyn doesn't know any, though, so he can't really judge.]

You just move around to the music! I'm sure you've got some rhythm in there somewhere. [He has seen glimpses of what the inside of 9S kind of looks like - his open wrist, anyway - and anything so organized has to have a beat, doesn't it?] I like the faster ones best, dancin' slow is a little...awkward sometimes.

[But he nods down to the partiers again with a smile.]

Shucks, they aren't really watching anyway. You wouldn't have a reason to be embarrassed.

[decryptic]

I guess so...

[ He too looks at the partiers below. Watching them, he hasn't had any urge to join in. It's food for thought, though; as he said, androids don't do much dancing. ]

It seems to me that dancing is just an excuse to touch other people. Otherwise, people would be happy to do it on their own.

[apothecarry]

Lots of people dance on their own!

[The scripted kind of dance looks better in and with a crowd, but plenty of people just move when they hear music! Whether they're any good at it or not. He does a little example...jig sort of thing, with a few hops and kicking steps, not matching to the current song at all.]

It's more fun with friends, but if you feel like moving, then you move!

[decryptic]

[ 9S watches this little jig impassively. Sometimes he sees things that make him feel so critically nonhuman. He responds dryly. ]

I wish I could take you at your word, Alfyn, but I wouldn't exactly call you typical. Even without the big, goofy box.