First Memo - It's A Miracle I'm Still Alive

[cancercarcino]

Characters: Karkat Vantas [Sun Wukong] and YOU!
Campaign: Break
Format: I will match!
Open
Summary: A troll has descended into the Index. Shenanigans ensue.

A - Appreciate The Gesture, But I Need Privacy
[Truthfully, Karkat’s life can’t get much weirder than this. He’d gone through an Armageddon-type game with a small group of friends, created a cancerous universe, was chased and forced to hide out in the Furthest Ring, had to deal with the fallout of several of his friends going murder-crazy and other friends dying out due to said murder-craze, and now where is he?]

[In some alternate world full of humans and looking like something right out of a wiggler’s tale.]

[One glance at him reveals he’s not exactly human; not with the grey skin, gold eyes, sharp teeth and orange-yellow horns crowning the top of his head. He’s quite a sight to behold, muttering to himself and grumbling as he picks at the feudal-era clothing (which somehow still had his sign stitched into it, albeit subtly), pokes at the golden band around his brow, and, worst of all, glares angrily at the tail lashing behind him.]

[Sure, he agreed to come to this weird Dream-Bubble-like place (or was he just creating an alternate timeline version of himself? Aagh, it was confusing enough while playing Sgrub), but he sure as hell didn’t agree to suddenly be given traits to make him look like a goddamn human primape.]

[If he passes by someone and their gaze lingers too long, he glares at them, fangs flashing.]

What the bulge-gargling fuck are you looking at, nookstain?

[Quite the pleasant greeting.]

B - So, Could You Please Pay No Attention To The Fuck Behind The Curtain?
[Once he discovers the journal’s note system, it doesn’t take long for Karkat to take to it like a memo on Trollium. Anyone who happens to read their journal will, unfortunately, be subjected to a torrent of angry scribblings.]

FIRST OF ALL, I WOULD LIKE IT TO BE KNOWN THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH MAGICAL FUCKING FAIRY DUST MIGHT BE CRAMMED INTO THIS STUPID BOOK, THE FACT THAT THIS PLANET STILL RELIES ON SUCH AN ARCHAIC FORM OF COMMUNICATION IS LAUGHABLE BEYOND COMPARISON.
I MEAN, I GET THAT THIS PLANET IS SUPPOSED TO BE SOME SORT OF BASTARDIZATION OF WIGGLER TALES AND GOOD FEELINGS AND ALL THAT SPONGE-NUMBING BULLSHIT, BUT FORCING US TO USE NOTEBOOKS OF ALL THINGS TO TALK IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER.
DOES ANYONE EVEN HANDWRITE ANYTHING ANYMORE?? LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF HANDWRITING ANYTHING WHEN YOU CAN JUST USE SOMETHING ELECTRONIC LIKE THE REST OF US IN SOCIETY??
FOR ALL THE STUPIDITY AND SHORTCOMINGS OF YOUR SPECIES, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT HUMANS WERE STILL SMART ENOUGH TO INVENT COMPUTERS ON WHATEVER PLANET THEY DECIDED TO INHABIT.
BUT BEFORE I GET TOO FAR INTO THE ASININE BULLSHIT THAT IS THIS NOTEBOOK, I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO GET IN CHARGE WITH THE DUNKASS RESPONSIBLE FOR BRINGING US ALL HERE.
LOOK, THIS ISN’T MY FIRST WALTZ DOWN THE WHOLE SAVING/RECREATING UNIVERSES BOULEVARD, BUT LAST TIME I CHECKED I DIDN’T AGREE TO BEING GIVEN A BUNCH OF STUPID UGLY EARTH MONKEY HAIR AND A STUPID-LOOKING TAIL.
SERIOUSLY, IF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE SOME KIND OF JOKE THEN HA HA, YOU GOT YOUR OBLIGATORY EARTHEN CHUCKLE LIKE YOU WANTED.
NOW TELL ME HOW TO TAKE THIS GODDAMN THING OFF OF MY ASS BEFORE I CUT IT OFF MYSELF!!

C - For Now I'm Trying Out My Battle Cry.
[Once Karkat settles down and actually accepts his role as an Aspect (and all the side-effects that come with it), he has taken some time to read through his Essence's story and, later, takes to the woods to practice his Essence powers. He knows he can transform things, but since he never even transitioned between his waking self and his Dream Self in his session, he's having a hard grasp of it.]

[There's a chance you may catch him practicing on his own, growling and cursing and ranting to himself out in the woods. However, there's also a chance you may stumble across him once he actually does manage to transform into something; when he does, it's a large, white, bipedal, crab-like monster he's taken the form of. If you catch him in this form... he may need some time to change back. Hopefully you're not too frightened by the giant white monster in the woods!]

D - Wildcard
[[OoC: If you've got something specific you'd like to do with Karkat, just PM me or hit me up on Plurk (pocketnoivern)!]]

Comments

[rokubro]

[Well. That wasn't very convincing to let him off easy. If his form wasn't so...monstrous looking he might have reconsidered. But after all the various Erasers and monsters he's faced both in this world and back home, this definitely fits the bill.]

Don't worry, I'll make this quick and painless.

[His bloodlust immediately skyrocketing and his killing intent seeping out to the point where his daemon eye begins to glow, he gives a dangerous smirk before he runs at him.]

[cancercarcino]

SKRAAAWW!

[HOLY SHIT that is an adult with a long sword aiming at him. Karkat flails one of his massive pincers at him, trying to bat him away while simultaneously trying to figure out how to reverse this transformation thing. He does not want to be killed his first week here!!]

[rokubro]

[When Rokurou realizes his error, he'll apologize.

For now, he'll continue the attack, moving in fast as he avoids and parries the flailing pincers, waiting for an opportunity to duck in and try and get a hit in.]

[cancercarcino]

[Nope, nope, this is really not helping. Karkat flails one of those big pincers at Rokurou, then turns tail and flees as fast as his lusus legs can carry him.]

[He needs to transform back, but the panic at being attacked is not helping.]

[rokubro]

[Fleeing are you? Too bad he's up against the daemon Huntsman. Or something like that.

Grinning, Rokurou gives chase, but as he runs Karkat will hear a high pitched whistle from behind. Not long after something small and brown will dart from the trees and will reveal itself to be a brown hawk, talons bared to distract and get in its way.]

[cancercarcino]

[Oh geez, why is this happening. First a human trying to cut him down, now a big bird trying to claw at his face. This wasn't helping at all! He had to transform back. How did he transform in the first place? He's gotta remember how, he needs to transform back..!]

[And suddenly, something clicks, and in a big puff of white smoke, the giant lusus is gone. Instead, an angry, grey-skinned troll goes tumbling through the underbrush, crashing and rolling on the ground.]

Ow! Fuck!!

[rokubro]

[The hawk is startled by the sudden white smoke, and Rokurou is also a bit surprised when he sees it. He's not too far from where it appeared, so he can also hear the voice the comes after it.

...Uh... What just happened...

He's still going to be on guard as he slows his pace and approaches—and then sees the strange gray skinned...person?? Rolling around.]

Wait, where'd that huge monster go?

[cancercarcino]

[No more big monster, but there is an angry troll-kid scrambling to his feet and brushing off twigs and leaves off of his clothes. He turns to glare at Rokurou, his monkey-tail thrashing behind him as he jabs a finger at him.]

What the barf-snorting fuck do you mean, where's that huge monster?? I was the huge monster, you sponge-fried, bulge-choking son of a hoofbeast! Didn't you see I was trying to run away from you, and not attack you like some mindless goddamn beast?? Are you that fucking stupid that you just attack anything that doesn't vaguely resemble a pink hairless monkey?? What the shit-gargling fuck is wrong with you?! You could have killed me!!

[Maybe he's asking for trouble, yelling at an adult, but he's just so angry right now.]

[rokubro]

[....Uuuuuuuuuh. If Rokurou was one to lecture someone about their manners—and he does sometimes—he might comment on Karkat's language. But he's both impressed and confused by all of it. So of course the proper response is to stare at him for a moment before slowly pointing at him.]

Wait...so you were that weird white bug looking monster thing?

[cancercarcino]

Of course it was me! If you had used your damn glance nuggets properly, you'd have noticed I was practicing how to use this stupid transformation magic! Out in the woods, away from people, so that I didn't have to worry about dunkasses like yourself coming around trying to perforate my carapace!

[rokubro]

[That is a mouth that Eizen's pirate crew would be proud of. Maybe.

In any case, he just gives a carefree laugh and holds a hand up in placating surrender.]

Sorry, I only saw the giant white monster part, not the transformation. There are a lot of different creatures out here, so it's hard to tell if it's a local or someone else.

Would it be any consolation to say that you appeared threatening enough to make me go on the attack first?

[cancercarcino]

[Karkat huffs and crosses his arms, clearly pissed off. But part of Rokurou's comments does get to him. It must say something about his new powers if his transformation was that convincing.]

Yeah, well, maybe next time try not skewering the giant white monster? I thought you humans weren't so keen on the whole murder thing??

[Then again, the humans he did know WERE pretty good at slaying monsters. And Jade's hive had been full of fauna trophies, so perhaps his point was pretty moot.]

[rokubro]

[That just gets him to grin.]

Some are, but it wouldn't matter to me. I'm a daemon, and one that likes to fight. So you were already of out of luck with that.

[cancercarcino]

What the flying shitballs is a daemon?

[rokubro]

In my world it's what humans become when their negative emotions and thoughts corrupt them through malevolence. But you can think of it like a monster or whatever, pretty much the same in the eyes of a human. [SHRUG.]

[cancercarcino]

That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Who ever heard of a monster made of emotions? That's the kind of bullshit thinking that even pan-fried wigglers don't even come up with.

[rokubro]

Right? No one knew how people turned into daemons before, we all thought it was some weird disease.

But I'm not surprised you find it hard to believe—most people I've talked to don't have anything like that in their worlds. Yours is probably the same.

[cancercarcino]

Well obviously not. The only think that even remotely sounds similar to what I know would probably be Jade's devilbeast of a lusus, but I doubt you're the same as that thing. Unless you somehow have the ability to manipulate space and reality to your fucking whim.

[rokubro]

Nope, but that would be pretty cool.

[cancercarcino]

No, it would not! It would be asinine and stupid and would probably fuck up this and every other timeline! Don't even joke about that!

[rokubro]

You sound like you've had personal experience with this.

[cancercarcino]

You're damn right I do. Personal and very uncomfortable experience.

[He's still frowning, but the way he glances off and hunches his shoulders, it's a very unpleasant memory for him.]

[rokubro]

[Seeing that he raises his hand in a placating manner.]

Got it, I won't ask anything else.

So putting all that aside... You know what I am, but what are you?

[cancercarcino]

[Karkat is grateful for the change in topic, even if his expression only goes from uncomfortable to exasperated.]

I'm a troll, obviously. Or not, given the fact that I doubt any troll has ever even farted in the general direction of this planet. If you mean that weird magic power bullshit, I'm some primate thing called Sun Wukong.

[rokubro]

...Yeah, trolls don't look like you in my world. Definitely a lot uglier, bigger, and stupider to deal with.

Haven't heard of "Sun Wukong," either, but if it let you turn into something like that, it must be an interesting Essence.