A robot and a roadie walk into a bar

[apothecarry]

Characters: {Alfyn | Johnny Appleseed} & {9S | The Scholar}

Campaign: ?? Break still?

Format: [ brackets ]

Open

Summary: Just intro stuff! Breaking into houses and trying to get used to living in a world with different rules.

They wound up just outside of town together and that's how they walk into it...

[A]

[ Alfyn and 9S have been given a plethora of shiny new keys -- and where a key exists, so too must its lock. Unfortunately, the keys don't come attached to a convenient street address, nor is there a map to point them in a likely direction.

There are, however, a number of unusual residences scattered around town. As he and Alfyn come across one of these houses, 9S impulsively takes his key ring and tries to jam a couple of keys into the front door lock while Alfyn watches with shocking complacency. The first keys don't work, of course, but it's worth being thorough.

9S continues trying all of the keys on his overly abundant keyring with single-minded focus. ]

Hey, let's try your keys too.

[ He speaks to Alfyn without turning around. Perhaps this is the perfect moment for the actual owner of the house (a.k.a. you) to catch a pair of strangers trying to break in? ]

[B]

[A few hours spent trying to break into houses sure works up an appetite! Alfyn grins and throws his arm across 9S's shoulders, making all his gestures with the draping hand.]

I don't know about you, but I'm starved! Got a favorite food? It looks like we could find just about anything we wanted around here, long as we've got the leaves for it.

[He found that coin pouch in his satchel! That oughta be plenty for a meal, even if the coin is weird-lookin'. That's what you've gotta expect from a story, right? The look of the coin only matters when it's important to the tale anyway. He steers 9S toward the nearest restaurant-tavern-looking building with a spring in his step.]

Or an ale? You look a little young for the alehouse but I'm bettin' that ain't quite the truth.

[9S doesn't get much of a chance to protest any of this? Before Alfyn throws the tavern door open and looks around for the barkeep. He's still grinning. He can almost taste his cold drink already...]

Table for two, please! [He miiiiight have shouted that a bit? Into a crowded-ish bar. Whoops.]

[[Joint intro-ing for 9S and Alfyn! Please catch them breaking into your house. Or failing to, because the keys don't work, and that makes for a good reason to drink.]]

Comments

[apothecarry]

[So. He's already kinda lost here. No idea what "aliens" are, except they're against humanity in this kid's war so they can't be that great.

Then he gets to "not an actual human being" and Alfyn stops walking.]

I'm...not sure I understand what you're trying to say, here. But listen, no matter what they say to you about soldiers not being human, it ain't true.

[decryptic]

[ 9S blinks and stops to look back at Alfyn. Were soldiers looked down on in Alfyn's time? 9S can't imagine why. ]

No, I'm really not a human. We androids were made by humans. We're put together in factories -- to fight for you.

[ There's probably a huge technological gap between them. Patiently, he elaborates: ]

Think of us as intelligent dolls. Over thousands of years, you humans figured out how to give us artificial brains and make us move. I know I look human, but that's only because we were made in your image. So don't worry; I wouldn't dream of trying to pass for a real human.

[apothecarry]

[Is there some way to assure 9S that Alfyn really is doing his best here? It's just that he doesn't know what a factory is, either, though "put together" puts him in mind of the binderies in Stonegard. Books don't fight for people, though. Unless Cyrus is holding one. And 9S is definitely not a book.

He gets more out of "intelligent dolls" but he's still shaking his head.]

I'm right here lookin' at you, and you're just as human as I am!

[The alternative being, you know, a cow, or something. Or a fish. Or an apple.]

[decryptic]

[ There's nothing wrong with being a cow or fish or apple either...!! 9S is rendered momentarily speechless by Alfyn's insistence. But his programming won't allow for him to elevate himself to human status any more than Alfyn would elevate himself to god status. His is a society that salutes with its left hand because doing so with the right would be too close to humanity. 9S shrugs helplessly. ]

I get what you're trying to say, but that's factually untrue. I'm not biological. Every part of me is made out of metal and synthetics. I was manufactured looking like this, and I'll never grow like you all do. It's really all right.

[ If only he had Pod to back him up on this... Humans made androids a little too convincing, apparently. ]

If it helps you to think of me as human, it's not like I can stop you. But... why does it bother you so much?

[apothecarry]

It's not that it bothers me, it's just...well, I've never seen anyone look so human and swear so hard they're not before. Ain't even thought of "not biological"; I guess when you said like a living doll, that's right in line with what you meant, huh?

[It would explain...why 9S was so heavy? If he were made of wood or stuffed or something.]

Maybe I haven't been everywhere in the world yet, but I sure know I've never seen anything like you before, or known anyone who could make...uh, you? Either. I guess we've got, you know, golems? They're taller, though, and usually made of rock and some kinda magic.

[decryptic]

Magic, huh?

[ 9S is immediately, reflexively skeptical. Then again, he can't say how he's standing here in the first place. Maybe getting whisked away here was a kind of magic too...

... Nah. Magic is just a word for things you don't know how to explain yet. He shakes his head. ]

I don't know anything about "golems", but I'm hard science through and through. If you can't comprehend me, that's only a testament to the great feats humanity has been able to accomplish over time. I wasn't poofed into existence overnight, you know? I was born from generations and generations of research and innovation.

That's why we androids were proud to serve humanity. All of you have more potential than we could ever imagine.

[apothecarry]

[Magic! Alfyn would show him, but he can't seem to summon up any ice like he usually can at home.

Most of 9S's explanation he accepts, thinking about it in silence while they head toward town. Part of him is still looking at the kid for clues that he's really feeling all right, but nothing out of the ordinary pops up in his mind on that front.]

Well, first of all, I can tell you I've got a friend who'd love to meat you. Real "all knowledge is worth knowing" kind of guy. ...So I was thinkin' about what he'd ask you, if he was here.

[Alfyn looks over at 9S with kind of a serious face.]

What'd you mean you "were proud to serve humanity"?

[decryptic]

[ His visor can be a real blessing sometimes, but it can't conceal the tired fall of his voice. ]

... That's a long story I'd rather not get into. Sorry. It isn't really relevant anyway.

[ He looks up, distracted as they step foot into town. The entire place looks positively medieval. It'll probably be difficult to keep himself maintained down the line. ]

What is relevant is that I'm here now and ready to serve. If you ever need an extra hand, don't hesitate to call on me. It's what I was made for.

[apothecarry]

Shucks, 9S, I'm not lookin' for anything even a little bit like a servant or a hired hand or something. Ain't like I have the leaves to hire you even if I was.

[To Alfyn, it just looks like...town. A kind of jumbled and bizarre town, but he's been to a theater city built on the ruins of a fortress. Eventually even the strangest things lose some of their surprise.]

But if it's all right with you, I'd like to be friends. Be here for you right back if you ever need anything, too.

[decryptic]

[ Alfyn's words shouldn't be difficult to accept, but they are. What 9S needs right now isn't a friend, but a purpose. He isn't ungrateful enough to voice that feeling, though, and he nods slowly at Alfyn. Better one friend than none. ]

You got it. So... we should probably start exploring the city, huh? It's a pretty big place.