Entry 004

[chippedsoul]

Characters: Kazuma Asougi [Jekyll/Hyde]
Campaign: Break
Format: [ brackets ]
Open
Summary: Catch-All for the Break


A - The Doctor is out [Network]

I will not be meeting with clients in person until further notice. If you must make an inquiry for some medicine, use the journal to contact me. I will let you know when it's ready to be picked up.

-Disciple

B- A nightly stroll in the forest

[Anyone who happens to be wandering around or living in the forest, might hear a disturbance during the nighttime. It doesn't occur every night, but when it does, it sounded like someone was cutting down the trees. There's also a low rumbling like thunder that occasionally accompanied the sound afterwards, like a rhythmic thumping. Looking into the source, they will find themselves at the edge of the Index. The ground appeared unstable, with trees uprooted and large boulders that have been split into smaller pieces scattering about the area.

This warzone was only found along the edge of the Index, and every few nights, a new area would turn into a disaster area. If someone manages to catch the person in the act, it turns out to be the Disciple, or was it the Disciple? The low rumbling noise was from him ramming trees into the barrier or throwing boulders at it. Whatever he could pick up and throw, which was almost anything, he was directing them at the barrier. A few times he was crazy enough to punch the barrier.] I need...to go... [If you manage to get in close enough, you can hear him mumbling about going somewhere. It doesn't seem like he's quite all there himself. Are those pajamas he's wearing?]

C-Wildcard
[This post is for the entirety of the break, so feel free to poke me on Discord or silentdrifterz if there's something else you want to play out instead or make your own starter!]

Comments

[hatesviolence]

I don't disagree... But don't think this is the right way to do it.

[He frowns in thought. Having to deal with his own "inner monster" and wishing he could just seal off that side of him many times before, he knows it's not really the same since Hyde seems like its own personality. But... There's just something about it that doesn't sit right with him, like it'll only make things worse.

But in the end he just runs a hand through his hair and follows Disciple.]

Can't think of anything better, though.

[chippedsoul]

. . .Me neither. [It was a quiet admittance. Even he knows this isn't a permanent solution, but he needs to do something for the time being. He's no quitter.]

That doesn't mean I won't stop trying. This is just another step towards an answer. [He enters the hallway and starts moving towards the back of his home, to a set of stairs leading down to the basement.]

[hatesviolence]

Have you figured out why he comes out?

[And just following along, only glancing around a bit since he's never been back here.]

[chippedsoul]

[Compared to the rest of the home that was more welcoming, coming down to the basement felt cold and void of life, and a little creepy. There were selves full of flasks and vials of mystery liquids and ingredients in jars lining the walls. The air was damp and almost encroaching.]

So far it occurs when my life feels threatened or when there's a fight. I can't remember much while he's in control, but I have the sense he finds some thrill in taking on whomever he comes across.

[hatesviolence]

[...It's almost like when he first checked out his house's own basement and discovered the lab. Yeah he hasn't been down there since.]

So it's almost like a defense thing...

[chippedsoul]

With a mind of it's own. [He puts down his bag, and starts gathering a few materials around the room.]

It's not always a defensive reaction. I can't even have a spar without him having an influence on me.

[hatesviolence]

And then once he takes over, basically have to wait until he's beaten up or exhausted, right?

[He'll look around, but otherwise just stay in one spot so as not to be in the way.]

[chippedsoul]

Yes. [He sets everything on the table, getting to work on his little project.]

...Lately, it's becoming difficult for me to regain control before it gets that far. I barely have any sense of myself or what's happening.

[hatesviolence]

Hm.

[Just a quiet hum as Shizuo leans against the wall, arms crossing over his chest as he thinks it over.]

...It's not exactly the same, but I used to have the same problem. With my anger.

[chippedsoul]

...Your anger is not a different entity, is it? [He lifts his head from his work.]

I think you mentioned this before.

[hatesviolence]

No, it's a part of me. [A small shake of his head as he thinks back on an earlier point of his life.] But when I got mad, I lost sight of everything around me. All I wanted to do was beat the living shit out of whoever pissed me off. Rip things up, throw whatever I could get my hands on.

But I hated it because I couldn't stop myself even if I wanted to. I tried before it got too bad, doing whatever I could to get out of the situation, but sometimes shit just happened, anyway. So people were always afraid of me even if I didn't even want any of that violence. Thought of me like a monster, and for a while I believed it.

[chippedsoul]

...But this was forced onto me. [Hyde's not a part of him at all. His eyes narrow, head throbbing a little.]

How did you work through it in the end?

[hatesviolence]

Yeah, that's one reason why it's different.

But I think this part might help a bit... [He holds out his hand, staring at it before clenching it into a fist.] I think it was because I strengthened my own will. That's how it started.

Then I started to accept that this was just something that was a part of me and I found a reason to use my strength for something good. To protect people. [He thinks back of when he had to chase after those who kidnapped Akane and how he was able to focus not on beating the shit out of everyone, but in getting her own and using his strength to protect her. He knows that's when things really started to change.]

So... Maybe if you figure out something like that with Hyde, you might be able to work with him better.

[chippedsoul]

[Strengthen his own will...he had a feeling that would be the case. How can one do that when they don't know themselves though? He's always kept moving forward, force his way through problems, but now he's trapped in a place where he may not get any closer to remembering who he is. He takes a deep breath.]

I just...want to go back.

[hatesviolence]

Go back? [A curious tilt.] You mean back home?

[chippedsoul]

[Home...did he really have a place to call that?]

Back to where my memories are sleeping.

[hatesviolence]

...Wait.

Your memories?

[Say what now.]

[chippedsoul]

[Gosh, was he that convincing? He straightens up, crossing his arms.]

I woke up one day without my memories. I've been searching for them since.

[hatesviolence]

[He just never bothered to think about Disciple's past, okay.]

So that's why you go by Disciple. [He at least noticed that much.] And you don't remember anything? At all?

[chippedsoul]

[A light shrug.] I know I'm from Japan, knowing the language and also English. I also have a firm grasp of British and Japanese law. [He's going to keep the "I need to do something in Great Britain" detail to himself for now.]

[hatesviolence]

...Hm.

[Just a quiet, thoughtful hum as he considers this new information. So he doesn't really remember much about himself and wants to find his memories... That's pretty deep, as well as a shitty situation.

...

.......]

Do you think Hyde could be related to your memories?

[chippedsoul]

No, never. [He's quick to answer, scowling at the idea.]

Hyde was never a part of me, he was forced onto me. [He returns to his work with fervor.] It's in his nature to act violent like in the stories and has nothing to do with me.

[hatesviolence]

[He can see that it's a disturbing thought for Disciple, and can't really blame him. The idea of lost memories manifesting to something like Hyde would be uncomfortable to anyone.

Besides, Disciple had a point. It's not like his own essence is a reflection of himself... ...Necessarily... ...Anyway.]

Sorry, was just a thought. But you're probably right. Could have had Cinderella and it wouldn't have meant anything.

[chippedsoul]

Right. [He rubs at his forehead. Keep telling yourself that, we both know the truth. He shakes his head.]

I understand the advice you were trying to give, but I doubt we'll ever reach an understanding when his only interest is to cause harm to others. He is a representation of people's darkness, he is not there to do good for anyone.

[hatesviolence]

Seems like it. [Just a long exhale as he thinks everything over. Ugh, this is way too hard and heavy for him.]

So if you can't understand him, all that's left is overpowering him. ...Guess you really do need that medicine to make any headway on that.